is this a necessary vitriol
Welcome to Hella Immaculate, I love you.
I’m Dave, a comedian and budding abolitionist. I love making light of heavy shit and taking frivolous things too seriously. Hella Immaculate is my existential, spiritual, political, creative-process-and-culture-obsessed alt-weekly.
You can support my work by sharing it or paying me to keep making it! Do that through Patreon, and you’ll get hella goodies and other chances to connect.
I went on a walk last night with my partner, and I asked her to give me a definitive answer to the question, “How can I find peace around my relationship to the Chicago comedy scene?”
This is a very old record I pulled off the shelf, and she gave me an answer she’s given me before, probably verbatim: “Focus on making the things you love with the people you want to work with instead of chasing a shadow you don’t care about anymore.”
I knew and know that’s exactly right, but the reason I keep playing this record and keep chasing this shadow is that all the feelings of abandonment, jealousy, hurt, lost and faded friendship, they linger. They haven’t resolved.
So I asked her how to find some resolution around those feelings (really putting all the heavy lifting on her), and she suggested I grieve the loss of this community, of the identity of Proper Stand-Up Comedian.
Then I asked her how to do that and it sounds like a bunch of terrifying stuff that involves being quiet and sitting still with myself, sooooo I guess I’ll keep spinning this record for now.
I’ll also keep reciting this adrienne maree brown poem from her book Emergent Strategy, which is one of the best things I’ve read since the pandemic started (the poem and the book):
STOP HATING: A SPELL
let me pull the weed up by the root
and notice the soil that i stand on
is this a necessary vitriol
is this what I choose now to rant on?
is there nothing to build
and nothing to grow
no more to offer up
nothing to know
is there a way now
that i could let go
can i look in the mirror
and love me more
THIS IS MY PODCAST, THIS IS YOUR AFTERLIFE
I got sick this week, so no new episode, unfortunately. The risks of procrastination as a DIY producer!
But the show got a new review this week, which I shared with last week’s guest, Matt Sage. I’m not sure which of us is the treasure, but I told him we should both own it.
THEY’RE JUST, LIKE, MY SUGGESTIONS, MAN
Contribute to the fight against Line 3, another pipeline that’s scheduled to destroy indigenous land in North America.
Search for protests, direct actions, and fundraisers in your area: “line 3 protest/fundraiser + [your city].”
Read about the history of the fight.
I’m going to this fundraiser tomorrow, Saturday, August 21. Join me if you’re local to Chicago!
Come to the Local Live(s) show NEXT WEDNESDAY, August 25. I’m co-hosting and co-producing with the Chicago Sun-Times. It’s one of the only live (Zoom) shows I’m doing right now. The show combines storytelling, live journalism, and music, and it’s free! It’s gonna be real fun.
Got a response to something here? Reply or comment, and I’ll hit you back.
MAY I PLAY YOU A SOUND?
There’s no tying this choice to something that happened this week, or any new release. What makes it relevant? Who cares! I just discovered it. And when can’t you use a smooth, swooning jam to lift your spirits?
The video is so funny and charming. Hella 80s music tech and Luther smile-singing in the studio. Also, I love that the second verse is about him full-on quitting his job to be with this person.
Def roller-skating anthem vibes. Have a great weekend with it!
is this what I choose now to rant on?
DM