Anger that plays
One of my biggest fears about when I start performing again is, “Will I have to relearn how to be angry onstage?”
I used to be a lash-out guy, my radar for audience interruptions cranked to 11, ready to lay into anyone who shifted in a slightly squeaky chair for derailing my open-hearted explorations of The Truth. The impulse is made worse when I’m focused on being word-perfect instead of swinging loosely from idea to idea.
It took me years to learn the anger that plays best on my face/body/voice doesn’t come from the bottomless pit of the stuff I have yet to drain through therapy. It’s exaggerated outrage about a spilled iced coffee, not the desperate-for-an-answer existential screams I put on Twitter sometimes.
Everyone knows there are many things to scream about on Twitter, some justifiable, like wellness trends weaponizing diabetes technology to terrorize non-diabetics and every piece of COVID fuckery, others less so, like bad takes about portrayals of rich people on film & TV or “Dry January” appropriating sober culture (though the latter feels silly enough to turn into a bit).
I’m just worried that without (safe) access to the stage, social media has replaced it not just as an outlet but in tone. I’m hoping reminders like this keep me from falling into the lash-out trap when I’m back to comedy, but the longer I languish offstage, the longer I have to stew in the unplayable anger.
LET’S DO COMMUNITY
THIS IS MY PODCAST, THIS IS YOUR AFTERLIFE
Two new episodes since we last talked, Patrick Cotnoir & Thomas Kelly!
Befitting the producer he is, Patrick Cotnoir (The Chris Gethard Show, The George Lucas Talk Show, ASSSSCAT) would book the hell out of his own funeral. He answers the usual TIYA questions and tries to deconstruct the show in the process. According to me, he fails!
Content warning: Nothing, discomfort with self, booking your own funeral, SPOILERS.
You've seen Thomas Kelly on TV in hella commercials, and the lucky ones of us have seen him perform on stage with the legendary Chicago improv team Sand alongside previous TIYA guest Mike Brunlieb (and Scott Nelson and others). Thomas and I go way back, and this is an especially cozy chat. The rare in-person This Is Your Afterlife!
Content warning: self-improvement, "Do you know who I am?," vampire lit, praise for doing bits, afterlife as cake or life as cake or maybe both but at different times?
Listen:
READ, WATCH, DO
Dilla Time: The Life and Afterlife of J Dilla, The Hip-Hop Producer Who Reinvented Rhythm is about to be the first book I’ve finished in a while, and it’s so, so good. Even if you’re not a J Dilla fan, which I wasn’t particularly before (not anti, just neutral), it’s a marvel of research and insight. One chapter weaves together Detroit’s city planning, European vs. African music, the origins of Motown, Dilla’s family history, and the rhythmic innovations of funk music. And it ends like this:
Star children, aliens on Earth, being born in the shattered grid.
Been a while since a book took my breath away.
MAY I PLAY YOU A SOUND?
Went to the record store last night with my favorite goal, which is “buy the thing at the intersection of cheapest and most interesting.” I settled on this two-tape set of Bulgarian folk songs. It’s creepy and haunting and beautiful and joyous and just… tight!
This is the lead song on Side 2 of Vol. 1 of Le Mystère des Voix Bulgares, sung by the Bulgarian State Television Female Vocal Choir. It’s the persistent rhythmic harmonies and the fact they coexist over that single, long tone that I love.
2023 is the year of the rewatch,
DM