Clear (or fill) the yurt
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We should not be angry at someone who leaves a show, for they are simply removing an element which did not belong there.
Lucy Hopkins said something like that when a couple folks who were not enjoying themselves left the yurt where she was performing her solo comedy clown show, Ceremony of Golden Truth, at the 2019 Edinburgh Fringe festival.
I’ve held this wisdom dear.
I thought of it again this week after teaching a writing workshop that really connected with a new student. She was pleased with the process we used to give feedback even more than the feedback itself, and it energized me to see her light up.
So I guess I thought of the Lucy Hopkins quote in a mirror image way: less about accepting people who aren’t feeling me and more about excitement when they do.
I tend to forget how far I’ve come creatively. For so long in comedy, especially during my improv days, I was trying to Find My Voice (a bit of a fool’s errand, but that’s another essay). Then, after doing standup for a while, I kinda found it! But I still had trouble sometimes getting people on board. (Read: I’d get defensive and cutting in an un-fun way on stage.)
Now, I know better how to get people on board, and identify who wants on board in the first place. When I get them on the boat with me, people love my shit. It’s a party boat! (Read: I’ve gotten life-and-work-affirming feedback from the guests on my podcast, people who’ve seen my shows, students, and you all!)
The frustration I’m feeling in my creative life is not with people leaving the yurt (we’re off the boat, back to the yurt, metaphorically). It’s not getting enough people into the yurt. But if past experience holds true, that will happen! AND there will be a new hurdle that is just as painful as Finding My Voice, getting people on board, and filling the yurt.
So I’m realizing it might be helpful for me to focus less on filling the yurt and more on not loading up each hurdle with so much pain.
Got a response to something here? Want to join my weekly workshops for storytelling or kickstarting your creative practice? Reply or comment, and I’ll hit you back.
THIS IS MY PODCAST, THIS IS YOUR AFTERLIFE
It’s a crossover event! Michael Timlin is a very good standup comedian (and an actor who has appeared on “Shameless”), and he has a very grounding, sanity-confirming podcast called Work Sucks, I Know! It’s about day jobs and dream jobs and the friction and overlap between them, and I appeared on it. It’s a really fun chat about mental health, why and how we do comedy, and my sordid history of losing hella jobs.
Then Mikey appeared on my show to talk about death and the afterlife, all cradled in talks of his loved ones: how painful it is to see them suffer, and the magic of meeting his wife. I hope you enjoy both episodes!
MOOD BOARD
We donated $30 to trans activist groups in Texas last week, which is rad.
I’m not the world’s biggest “Sex and the City” fan. I’d seen the couple dozen episodes that were always re-running a decade or so ago. But holy shit, the new series, “And Just Like That,” it’s soooooooo satisfyingly, decadently, everything-horrifying-about-capitalism-and-New-York-and-these-specific-people-y AWFUL in the most enjoyable way. Every time they call it a “comedy concert,” I delight. Che Diaz saying “I’ve done a ton of weed”? Sheer joy. Can’t recommend hard enough if you’re trying to unplug AND electroshock your brain at the same time.
MAY I PLAY YOU A SOUND?
Did you do Bandcamp Friday? There’s still time! Here’s my haul:
Oui Ennui – Forensic Architecture: My man’s new one is a dance party about rebuilding the world post apocalypse. In his words, “A score to the dystopian present.”
Lynn Avery & Cole Pulice – To Live & Die In Space & Time: “Manipulated saxophone” is becoming one of my favorite genres, and Cole’s a practitioner par excellence. Worth it if just for the way their sax goes up and up in a crazy processed way on “The Sunken Cabin (Night).”
Ned Milligan – Emotional Yardwork: I asked my buddy Matt Sage for his recommendation, and he sent this album of a dude playing his “singing drum” in the rain. Slowly, my pleasure listening and my partner Hope’s yoga teaching playlists are merging.
Sholto Dobie – Preambula: Free! Short. 4 “improvisations using a self-built portative pipe organ made during the quarantine. Recorded at home with the balcony door open on the afternoon of 20 May 2020.” Sounds like a friend playing you a calm little concert. Sometimes I search for Lithuanian shit on Bandcamp, and this is what I turned up today.
Yurt,
DM