Dear sensitive, engaged, and thoughtful readers of Definitive Answers fka Hella Immaculate fka Whip Ain’t Got No Gas Tank (way back in the TinyLetter days)—
I’m writing to tell you I’m officially pausing the newsletter, explain why, express my gratitude, and let you know where you can find me in my absence from this space. I lay out my purposes so clearly to keep myself focused. Otherwise, it’d be easy for me to go on digression after digression, treating this project as synecdoche for my entire creative career, which it’s not!
THE WHY
So why pause? And why announce it when the newsletter is already dormant?
I’ll answer the second question first. Occasionally, I find my thoughts occupied with commitments I’ve made but done no work toward. Those months-or-years-dangling to-do list items. And I find it helpful to make a deliberate choice to put those commitments on the Ignore List and tell people, even if they say, “Oh, that thing? Yeah, literally none of us have been thinking about or holding you accountable for it. But um, glad you’re unburdening!” It’s a way of clearing space in my brain.
I also need to clear space in my creative life, and that’s why I’m pausing. This newsletter is just labor-intensive enough that having the time back gives me a nice chunk of week to devote to other projects. And I’m embarking on a couple new projects that take priority over the newsletter for now.
Namely, I’m working in earnest on my third one-man show and starting a new podcast.
SHOW 3
If you’ve spent any time reading Definitive Answers, you’re likely aware of what a struggle I’ve had the past few years in my relationship to live performance. I define myself by it. I’ve changed how I think about it. I’ve done almost none of it. I’m disheartened by the lack of COVID-safe opportunities for it. I crave it.
So to have performances shimmering on the horizon is a relief, a godsend, and an “oh shit!” motivator. And from the space I’ve already taken from the newsletter, I’ve learned that—as much as I love regular, diaristic communication with likeminded creative, reflective people—keeping up with it keeps me thinking in newsletters, and dropping it forces my thoughts into different forms, the kinds of forms I want to focus on right now.
NEW PODCAST
The new podcast is in addition to and separate from This Is Your Afterlife. It’s a joint venture with Madeline Lane-McKinley, who appeared on TIYA and has graciously asked me to join her for a couple talks about her book Comedy Against Work, including one coming up on Saturday, May 13 at 1pm Central. It’s been a blast to talk with Madeline about comedy, movies, and TV, and that’s exactly what we’re doing on the new podcast.
Announcing… Genre Reveal Party! We’re discussing movies and TV through the lenses of politics and genre: its definition, its limits, and what we can learn by exploding them. Additionally, this first season has a “Family Matters” theme, so we’re focusing extra hard on stories that examine the concept of family and family abolition. Here’s just a taste of the films and shows we’re covering in Season 1:
Succession
A Serious Man
Fast X
Yellowstone
Rothaniel
Star Trek: Picard
Junior (yes, the Arnold Schwarzenegger pregnancy comedy)
Juno (yes, a pregnancy double feature with Junior)
And here’s another thing no one has seen yet, the podcast cover art! Shoutout to Madeline’s kid Tuli for the design.
THANK YOU
This newsletter has been a haven where I’ve had the luxury of thinking through ideas and anguishing semi-publicly without having to sort my thoughts cleanly. I’ve gotten the loveliest messages from you, including some I’ll remember and hold dear as encouragement for the rest of my life.
I hate to lose this opportunity for connection, and I don’t make this choice to press “pause” lightly. More selfishly, I’m scared to lose your attention, as if sacrificing this specific public-facing outlet, even temporarily, will doom me to obscurity forever. But I said I wouldn’t digress.
This has been one of the pillars of purpose in my life since the pandemic began. I’m honored you’ve chosen to spend the time with me that you have, and I hope we keep talking.
WHERE TO FIND ME
Here’s where I’ll be in this fallow period for Definitive Answers.
This Is Your Afterlife, my weekly podcast and most consistent creative outlet since 2020. I know a podcast is not a newsletter, and not everyone who craves the latter wants the former. But it’s still from me, and if you enjoy the topics and tone of this newsletter and haven’t dipped into the podcast yet, you should try it! Start with my second favorite episode, Taco Bell Is Better for Me with Patrick Shiroishi (experimental saxophonist and composer extraordinaire), and if you like it, go hunting for my favorite!
Patreon. It might seem weird to plug the place where you can support me financially right as I dip from producing a thing you’ve enjoyed. So like, yeah, totally. But if there’s anywhere I’ll be sharing the kind of intimate missives I did in Definitive Answers, it’ll be on my Patreon. If you’re able to spend $5 or more a month to encourage my work and keep me flush with insulin, thank you. Plus, the Patreon is where you can access…
Abandoned Building, my currently-weekly solo podcast I’m using to develop my new one-man show. I’m doing everything I can to make it feel like a live show, including actively requesting and incorporating your feedback. If you want to take part in the Abandoned Building experiment without joining the Patreon, let me know, and I’ll send you a private link to the podcast. The only catch is you HAVE to commit to listening to every new episode and texting/emailing me feedback after each one. It’s a big ask because of the immediacy I need to develop the material, but if you’re up to it, it’s been a blast so far.
Have questions? Want to hire me for something? Or just talk? You can always email me directly: thisisdavemaher@gmail.com.
READ, WATCH, DO
Donate to the Chicago Abortion Fund. Hope and I are raising money as part of a team in this year’s Fund-A-Thon, and we’re over a third of the way toward our goal of $1500. Illinois has become a refuge for people seeking abortion care across the Midwest, with several surrounding states banning or severely restricting it. Help us keep CAF’s life-saving work going strong.
MAY I PLAY YOU A SOUND?
Here’s the song currently inspiring Show 3 the most.
(Bonus: The Caroline Polachek performance up top has spiraled me into an obsession with her album Desire, I Want to Turn Into You, interviews with her, and live videos from her shows.)