Ok but one more thing about year-end lists, and it's the root of my problem with them
Hella Immaculate is thoughts/FEELINGS, peculiar music, and actions to improve our world, from me, writer-performer-comedian Dave Maher.
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I know I said my piece about year-end recaps last week, but I’ve got an additional quibble that has nothing to do with their timing and everything to do with their structure.
Here’s the short version:
Not a year-end list, but the point stands
Here’s the longer version:
The hierarchical structure of these lists is just so boring, and so not how I experience most art.
Don’t get me wrong on the numbered list. Great format. Fun exercise. Excellent conversation starter. But as a vessel for writing about our experiences with art over any period of time, the shit is flawed!
Here are my suggestions for improving year-end lists, some of which I may follow in my own later.
Don’t number them.
Similarly, don’t standardize the number of entries. Some years, it’s 20 albums, some years, 17.
Choose a narrative, and list them in that order. Chronological, even (by release or discovery date)!
Work backward. Instead of thinking of the artworks first and titling a list to fit (“Top 10 Books of 2020,” “12 Best TV Shows We Binged in Quarantine”), think of the way you interacted with art and find the works that fit (“The 2 Songs That Calmed Me Down Whenever I Started to Panic in 2020,” “All the Survivor and Drag Race Seasons I Watched in 2020 Listed by Number of Times I Referenced Them in Conversation”).
Don’t even list whole works, just moments (“Top 6 Drum Sounds I Want to Crawl Inside”).
Stop padding the blurbs. If all there is to say is, “I wanted the WAP video to make me hornier than it did,” then leave it at that!
I’m aware my suggestions aren’t exactly SEO-friendly, but what do you expect from the dude whose newsletter subject lines rival Panic! at the Disco song titles for word count?
This Week’s This Is Your Afterlife
Annie Russell makes being unfun a cornerstone of her standup act, and I am here for that kind of radical grouchery. She’s also works in public radio, so she got that good mic.
Another cornerstone of Annie’s act is orphan material. With experience burying both of her parents, she’s got lots of thoughts on death logistics. We get into that and a surprising amount of talk about defining yourself outside of a relationship.
The full episode of “Annie Russell Has a Death Doc” includes Annie's separate “Funeral Planning” segment and a detour that could be a whole separate podcast of us talking about BOUNDARIES. All at patreon.com/davemaher.
Wamp Wamp (What to Do)
Donate to Santa Box 2020, an initiative by mutual aid org Market Box “to get 400 care packages of books, toys, and grocery cards to South Side [Chicago] families this holiday season.”
I donated $20, and $130 covers a box for a whole family. Reply with what you donate (at bit.ly/santabox2020), and I’ll report our total next week. Be real-life Santa Claus!Do your holiday shopping at Bookshop.org. Do we all know Bookshop.org? I take it as a given that everyone does, but I realized that might not be true, so I want to spotlight my favorite Amazon alternative as you’re in the midst of holiday book buying. You can support your local bookstore (or my favorite local Black-owned bookstore) by buying through their Bookshop shop, shipping is quick, and they do gift cards.
Listen to hyper-local holiday music. Xmas Around the World is a tool from everynoise.com that lists “distinctively popular maybe-holiday-related music based on Spotify listening in various places…” You can browse countries or cities within countries. I’m a sucker for Lithuania, so that’s where I started. But for the bangers, head straight to the Scandinavian countries and Japan.
Follow me on Medium. Sometimes I think reading this newsletter must be like watching someone scramble to build their independent art business in real time, and that’s definitely what it is in parts. I’ve been struggling to figure out what of my shit to promote and where (do I list everything I do in every place I do a thing? do I decide the main thing I want to promote and let that take precedence? do I do less things???).
My latest attempt to bring more people into the Hella Immaculate fold is to adapt some of the essays I’m writing here for standalone publishing. Here’s the first one, which might look familiar: 2020 isn’t “Worst. Year. EVER!!”
I plan to do more of these adaptations, sometimes with significant changes. So if you’re a lil Medium freak, follow me there. And if it feels nicer to share a Medium link than forward a newsletter to someone who’d be interested, now you have that option.Celebrate with me!
I know I mention my Patreon a lot these days (I also know I’m prefacing a lot this week, and while I could go through and edit it all out, I feel compelled to share my anxiety and second-guessing, and if that turns you off, I get it!). And I’ll cop to the shameless self-promo of it all, but I do it for a couple reasons other than the obvious:
1) I’ve wanted to launch one for a while, and I’m real proud of doing it this year.
2) It’s not a side project. I’m working to make it the nucleus of my career.
3) Beyond it’s mere existence, I’m proud of what I’m doing with it. More than a repository for bonus podcast content, it’s got legitimately cool shit I’d want from an artist I support. It’s intimate, casual, fun, and I hope it’s building a unique community of sensitive, thoughtful, fun people.
What’s my point? This past week, I hit my first goal: 15 patrons. This means I’m covering the costs of hosting/producing all my work, which is no small thing. The next goal is 50 patrons, at which point I’ll do my first run of merch. If you’re able, I’d love to have you on board. And if you’re not able, you’re still a part of this win! Do a dance or, I don’t know, “accidentally” leave your next Zoom early.
May I Play You a Sound?
I was late on making my November playlist for Patreon subscribers, so I’ve gotten an early start on December’s. I’m calling it “Extreme Socially Distant Christmas,” and it’s focused largely on original, international Christmas songs, i.e. non-American, non-English lyrics. That Xmas Around the World tool was an invaluable find.
You’ll have to join the Patreon for the full playlist when I send it out, but this week, I’m pointing you to one of my loveliest finds, a Lebanese Christmas carol by Fairuz called “Talj Talj,” which means “Snow Snow.”
The song itself is a snowflake, a marriage of delicate content to form. I’ll let the lyrics take it from here.
Talj Talj (English translation from a YouTube comment by “Rony Zgheib”)
Snow Snow
Snow Snow
Snow snow
Snow snow, it's falling snow
The stars are confused
and the flowers of the road are cold
Snow snow, it's falling snow
and the clouds are tired
shining like lights on the mountain
And a cave is still awake
with a little child inside
in his little bright eyes
a very big love
Snow snow, it's falling snow
and in every heart and every plain
love has grown like snow
Shepherd are coming from far away
where is the promised child?
Here you Christmas Shepherd
Snow snow,
let's snow peace, love and snow
on every heart and on every plain
Goodness, peace and love
like the snow
Snow snow aha
Snow snow aha
Snow snow aha
A very big love,
DM